


35

by Adrienne_Of_The_Dark



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, Heroes & Heroines, Multi, Other, Suicide Attempt, Villains
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-12
Updated: 2017-12-11
Packaged: 2019-02-13 19:12:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12990666
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adrienne_Of_The_Dark/pseuds/Adrienne_Of_The_Dark
Summary: There are 7 stages of grief. Denial, guilt, bargaining and anger, depression, the "upward turn", reconstruction, and acceptanceI'm not passing point 3.5 for a while.I guess, I'm stuck.





	35

There is no real start. It was gradual. Not many people could notice it happen so slowly.

-     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     -     -

I guess it started when I was born. I was born a week before I was supposed to. I was barely strong enough to leave the hospital. My mother carried me out on her own. Years later, I wondered why my father wasn't there with her.

She never listened to anyone's opinions on how she should've treated me. She never thought I was spoiled, or weak, or weird, or anything else I heard them mutter about me. I was just her child to her. Her darling child.

And she was my darling mother.

She also never told me to call her "mommy", or "momma", or anything else. She told me her name, Alex, and said I could say that and any other form of "mom". So I did it all. I was always an overachiever.

I thought she deserves everything.

She was so different compared to everyone else. But so was I. She never preferred to give me girl's toys or boy's toys, only giving me the toys I liked. I always tried repaying her by being a great child, getting good grades, and being a wonderful employee, and helping her take care of both of us. I (almost) never felt bad when people said I was weird, that I didn't fit in, or that I tried too hard, because I knew she was there for me. She was always there for me, just like I was for her.

She never called me "my daughter", or "my son". She called me "my darling", or "my dearest". Never "prince" or "princess", never anything like that. She said I could be anything, and I believed her. I believed her with all my heart. I was a girl, who could sometimes be a boy, of course, and she could do anything she wanted.

But no one else believed Alex. Or me.

They always said I was too smart, too simpleminded, too creative, all at once. It didn't make sense: I loved my mom, so I showed that I loved her by giving her everything I could get her. I went in plays, I wrote stories, I won competitions, and everyone called me weird. They said I shouldn't call my mom by her name. I shouldn't call her momma one day and mother the next. I should like someone, I should be friendlier, I shouldn't express myself so openly. Nothing they said made any sense.

I know this sounds like a depressing monologue, but it is what it is. How did she go through all this? Didn't her mom know? Why is she so weird? Why is she talking in the past tense? I'll answer these in order.

Alex always spent our free time together. Every moment that I had nothing I needed to do, I spent with her. I felt I would burden her and make her finally think she raised me wrong if I said what the others said to me. Also, a big eff you for whoever thinks the last question in a rude manner. My momma told me I was great, and you can't change that.

Finally, the last question. Why am I talking in the past tense? Well, you see, I'll answer that soon. But not now.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey gamers. Chapter 1, kinda, blippidy blop, whatever, I like this story and I hope you do you. But don't force yourself to read it if it's too slow if a starter for you. I won't go pointing fingers for too little views or anything. Just read enjoyable things.


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